Moving On

It’s been almost two weeks since we said goodbye to Ein. Initially, we’d planned on traveling with him to Sapporo to visit Seri’s aunt and uncle. We postponed the trip when his health started going downhill, opting instead to travel up there when he got better. Things changed quickly, and the week following his death was mostly quiet, reflecting and remembering. I’ll try to keep this part brief, not because I want to forget, but because I don’t want this blog to focus on depressing subjects. We still miss him—that will never change. For your benefit, I’ll keep things light going forward.

That Tuesday, the 11th, we laid Ein to rest. I’d heard about Japanese funeral ceremonies, but had never experienced one. Although obviously different because he’s not human, there were apparently similarities that were interesting to be a part of. We got to the funeral home mid-day after researching options on Monday. The director greeted us in the parking lot, and we headed upstairs. This particular home was actually on the top floor of a hotel. I’d imagine that’s not something the hotel advertises, and there was an ominous looking sign at the stairway headed up to the home advising hotel guests that nothing good would greet them up there.

The reception area itself was small, but it was just four of us so we didn’t need much space anyway. We put Ein in a box to be used for the cremation, along with some Japanese cucumber—his favorite treat—a bouquet of flowers, and a bed he always loved, then said our goodbyes.

The process took about an hour. When the director came back into the room, he had with him a tray with bones, arranged loosely in the form of our corgi. It was really surreal, but part of the process. Seri’s mom, her uncle, Seri and I then proceeded to take chopsticks and place Ein’s bones, one by one, into an urn. Usually, this would complete the process, but we’d asked the director to take the extra step of breaking down his bones, more akin to cremation we’re used to in the US. He took the urn away and a few minutes later came back with a smaller urn we’d picked out and wrapped it in cloth. We were done, and packed up our things to go home. Once home, we placed the urn in a display case we pass by frequently, so we can see him often.

The rest of the week was tough, but every day got a little bit easier. Since we’d planned on going to Sapporo, we decided it would be good to head out there to clear our heads a bit. We packed up our things Friday morning and made our way to the train station.

Sapporo is a 3.5-hour train ride from Hakodate. The bullet train will eventually make its way out there, but not until 2031 at the earliest. It’ll probably take about an hour or less to travel there once that’s completed. Until then, we take the normal train. It’s sort of nice, actually. The trip allowed me to work almost the entire time, catching up on a project that didn’t require any internet access.

We got into Sapporo station around 2pm on Saturday and made our way to the nearest department store, a place called Daimaru. I knew I wanted to do some shopping in Sapporo, since it has more options than Hakodate. We ended up spending a bunch of time in a Paul Smith shop, but I only picked up one shirt. Call it trying to be mindful of my wardrobe out here, I dunno.

One thing that struck me in the mall was the number of Japanese people buying high-end goods. I’ve done a bit of research on how much Japanese people tend to make, and it really puzzled me as to how so many young people were buying $200 shirts, among other things. After reading up about it a bit, it seems like even though wages out here aren’t nearly as high as they can get in the Bay Area, living with your parents into your 20s and even 30s is much more common. This, coupled with having few—if any—hobbies and eating cheaply leaves an almost entirely disposable income that a number of people choose to spend on clothing.

After Daimaru, we walked to a popular downtown park called Odori Park. In February, this will transform into the annual Sapporo Snow Festival. Now, it’s home to the White Illumination, a collection of lights and general winter decorations. They’d also set up a tent area with vendors selling foreign foods, and we bought a pretzel and some sausage from a German tent.

At 6:30pm, we headed back to the train station to meet up with Seri’s Aunt Hime and Uncle Moto. I love her aunt and uncle. Japanese people aren’t affectionate, generally. You don’t usually see people hugging, and you certainly don’t see them kissing in public. Seri and I noticed her aunt talking with Seri’s mom, and while we waited for Uncle Moto to arrive, someone came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. When I turned around, Uncle Moto was there, smiling at me. They’ve always just been extremely open and accepting people, and I enjoy my time with them. Their son, Kazu, also joined us and we headed to dinner at a nearby restaurant.

After dinner, we headed back to Hime and Moto’s house in the nearby town of Ebetsu and stayed up a bit longer drinking, watching badminton on TV, and talking about the plans for the next morning.

We were a bit slow to wake up the next morning, but we weren’t on a tight schedule so it wasn’t too much of an issue. Although Hime had gotten sick earlier in the week, she still managed to make us breakfast—something I’d never assume but that which is always appreciated. My Japanese isn’t good enough to express how much it means to me that she always does this, but I hope my thanks comes across nonetheless. Due to her cold, she hung back to rest up instead of joining us. The plan was to head to Kazu’s house, where he and his family (his wife and two adorable kids) would caravan with us to the town of Yoichi, about 1.5 hours West of Ebetsu.

I’ve been to Yoichi before. The reason for our visits is, selfishly, to go to a whiskey distillery for a brand called Nikka. It’s one of my favorites, and that it’s close enough to drive to from Sapporo makes it an appealing visit. We’ve done the tour in the past, but this time we were just going to do some tasting and buy some whiskey found only at the distillery. Unfortunately, due to Japan’s global popularity in the world of whiskey, their supply was much more limited than during previous visits. They’ve also limited how much they’re willing to sell per person, something I don’t recall from previous visits (even though we were constrained by importation limits at the airport). Even still, we left with some goodies and I enjoyed the visit.

Up next, we headed back East to a town called Otaru. Otaru is known for a glass maker called Kitaichi Glass, specializing in intricately cut glassware, called “kiriko.” Seri and I had brought back kiriko glasses to the US from a previous visit to Otaru, and wanted to buy new glasses while we’re out here. It’s a bit touristy, but we had a purpose so weren’t there that long. Seri ended up buying a glass, but I couldn’t find something I wanted—within my price range. Let me be clear that I found a glass that I quickly fell in love with, but couldn’t find a way to justify its $800 price tag. Maybe next time…

Headed back to the cars, we made one final stop to a well known fish cake factory called Kamaei to pick up some gifts. It was a little weird looking through the glass windows into a room filled with people forming pink fish paste into molds that are sold up front, but welcome to food production I suppose. We drove back to Ebetsu, where we had dinner with Hime and Kazu’s family at the house. The last time I saw Kazu’s kids, his daughter Yuzuki was 3, and his son Haruki had just turned 1. There’s a tradition in Japan that children who turn 1 are given giant mochi (called “issho mochi”) to wear. It weighs 1.8kg, and I remember him stumbling and crying trying to stand up while wearing it. Torturing your children. Fun! (but seriously, it was funny)

This time around, Yuzuki is 5, and Haruki 3. Yuzu has been learning a bit of English at her daycare, and although she was really shy, she still managed to practice a bit with us. It was pretty adorable. Kazu and his wife admitted they’re not equipped to help much beyond simple words like, “apple” and “thank you,” so they were glad we were there to help.

The next morning, Uncle Moto would drive us back to Hakodate and stay with us for a couple of days before driving back to Ebetsu. It would save us the cost of the train, but would also give us a chance to have him around for a bit where we could treat him for the hospitality the previous days. We headed out early, and stopped at a lake called Shikotsu. It’s a pretty big lake, formed from the volcanic activity of three nearby mountains (thanks, video playing on loop at the visitor’s center). During the winter months, since the water is so clear, workers put up scaffolding and spray it with water from the lake. The scaffolding is then lit from inside and creates a little snow/ice village that’s popular with tourists.

Once we got home—a trip that took almost all day, since we stopped a couple of times—we took a load off and had nabe for dinner with Uncle Toshi and Yoko. I’ve had nabe a lot since moving here—in fact I’m having it again tonight. It’s an easy dinner to make, and seems to last a second day, at least how we tend to do it. There are a few common ingredients I’m not too into, like shirataki and all manner of mushrooms, but generally it’s a tasty, filling meal.

The next morning, Uncle Moto drove us around a bit to do some errands, and we thanked him by taking him to one of our favorite sushi spots, Kihara (where we went for our anniversary this year, and where we’d been on my birthday a couple of years ago). Since we arrived at 2pm, the place was basically empty, which was relaxing. The same chefs were there, and remembered us, and are just generally nice guys. I hope Uncle Moto enjoyed himself.

That evening, we had nabe round two (I wasn’t kidding about leftovers), and early the next morning, Uncle Moto made his way back up to Sapporo. We’ll see him and the family again in February when the Snow Festival is in full swing. Maybe we’ll end up going snowboarding at the mountains of nearby Niseko. I was exhausted and needed a day to relax, but was glad to have had the weekend. It was the one I needed after the week we’d previously endured.